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Enchantment starts with three pillars: likeability, trustworthiness, and quality. Likeability comes about with personal skills, smiling, shaking hands, and dressing.

Trustworthiness comes across because you trust others before you expect them to trust you. You think of life as not a zero-sum game, but the game that everybody can win. I like to use the analogy of you can either be a baker or an eater. An eater sees the world as “I need to eat as much and as fast as possible.” A baker sees the world as “I can bake more pies, and everybody can eat more.” So you want to be a baker.

You also want to default to a yes attitude, where you're always thinking about how you could help others, as opposed to how they could help you, or what they might want from you. And the last component is quality.

I have an acronym, it's DICEE, that defines high quality. The ‘D’ stands for depth, in terms of features and benefits. The ‘I’ stands for intelligence: when you look at it, you understand it; people understood your problem and have anticipated what you need.

The ‘C’ stands for complete. Using a software analogy, it’s not just the software, it’s the software, and the documentation, and the conferences, and everything that goes around it. The first ‘E’ stands for elegance, that is the user interface. And the last ‘E’ stands for empowering. Great products and great services make people feel empowered, more creative, and more productive, giving them peace of mind.

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- Guy Kawasaki

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Individuality versus Togetherness

There’s actually a lot about balance in Bowen Family Systems Theory, and it has to do with the balance between individuality and togetherness.

In all of our families and in all our organizations, there’s a pull towards togetherness. There’s a pull towards the leadership to think the way I think, think the way we as a group think, be here for us, no matter if you have to get sick doing it, because they don’t give you enough time to yourself. So, there’s this togetherness pull that can do the leader in.

Bowen talked about this a great deal. We spend a lot of time discussing individuality. “How do I, as a leader, get some individuality? How do I think about who I am as a person, out of all this togetherness? Does togetherness pull?” And so that’s the balance that we find in this theory.

And then, in individuality, of course, there’s a great deal of thinking about, “What do I believe? How am I functioning? How much does the togetherness pull, dictate, and dominate my life?” versus me, myself, dominating it, and dictating what I want my life to be like, and look like, and how I’m going to relate to people.

How much does my generation dictate the kind of person I am? Most people have never thought about that: how much their generations are really influencing them to this very day.

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- Roberta Gilbert

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Engaging Followers

I think, for sure, that leaders need to be able to listen well. I'm always suspicious of a leader who has great clarity but doesn't really listen and all he wants to do is bulldoze everybody else - and get his vision accomplished.

And I think it's really critically important to be able to listen to other people, to be able to pick up on the nuances of what they may be sharing because they may be seeing things that you don't see, or that you're not aware of - or you don't have the experience to really apprehend.

So I think as a fundamental skill as a leader, you've got to be able to listen, be able to hear people. And even if, ultimately, you decide to go another direction, or slightly different direction, it's really important that people feel that they've been heard, that they've had the chance to contribute to the vision. That makes it much easier for them to own it. So, I think listening is a huge issue.

As you know, some believe in the gift of tongues, some don't believe in it. But regardless, we should all believe in the gift of the ears. That's what really counts.

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- Michael Hyatt

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Strategies for Balance and Wholeness

Success in creating a balanced life is an elusive goal. It is also a worthy goal. It is not worthy if it makes you crazy or creates stress because you cannot achieve perfection. If perfection is your goal, there may never be a celebration for that goal!

Strive to improve. Don’t try to be perfect. Grant grace to yourself and to others. Don’t pretend to yourself that you can be perfect. Others can see through that mask and will not respect you if you are too driven toward perfection. Having said that, there is always room for improvement.


It is important to note that you don’t always attract what you want. You attract what you are like. So be what you want, and think positively about what you want, and it will be attracted to you.


In that light, striving for balance and wholeness in life is certainly a worthy goal. Balance will come to you as you seek it. Think positively about it and give value to it. Be intentional about planning for balance.


Balance is not just meeting your calendar requirements or accomplishing your primary goals; it is being who you want to be and loving it! Love being a person who enjoys the fellowship of friends and family. Love being a person who gives to others on a regular basis. Love being a person who cares about others.


Balance is about being the best you can be. Balance is knowing that you are on a journey and that you never arrive at a destination. You are continuing to grow and flourish until the day you die.


Know when you reach balance and know when you can do better. Be aware that it’s okay to be out of balance because life has rhythms that come and go. Sometimes there are sliding priorities that need your attention and deserve your energy. Sometimes they command your total energy. Realize that life is full of adventure, full of challenges and full of inconsistency.

Rejoice in creation. Be true to who you are and love it.

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How Do You Define Success?

Success is when preparation meets opportunity.

“The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark.”   

― Michelangelo Buonarroti

Have you defined what success means for you and for the enterprise that you lead?
How will you measure success?
Some things to measure:
  • The measurement of achievement - Setting and achieving goals such as sales, products, attendance, and other measurable outcomes.
  • The measurement of engagement - Discerning if your team members, customers, and stakeholders are connected and engaged with their passion, and not just marking time.
  • The measurement of harmony - Some leaders want to avoid conflict so much that they create an artificial high with happiness to create harmony. Conflict is the sign of energy and creativity. In music, there is consonance and dissonance. There is harmonic rhythm, in addition to the rhythm of the notes. Tension and resolution is a pattern of life. Embrace it.
  • The measurement of profit - Getting the sale and making money is certainly the point of being in business. It's not the only point. Focus on bringing value and serving clients. You will attract money if you have value and learn how to describe that value.
  • The measurement of life - Are you happy? Are you enjoying life and business? If the businesses is not robbing your joy, that's a good sign, however, there's more to it. Define what you want in life, and then make it happen.
We create things to measure:
  • Cash flow projections…
  • Sales or income…
  • Balanced scorecard…
  • Time and energy...
  • Balance in life…
Commit to the future by committing to a process. Be sure that you will achieve success with the following:
  1. Commit to Success - Begin with commitment. Nothing else will replace commitment. That's it…commit!
  2. Define Success - Define the life you want, and then build the pathway to get it. No matter what your enterprise is, commit to life for you and yours. At the end of life, you will celebrate what you did rather than mourn what you didn't do.
  3. Schedule Success - Those who are successful do what others are not willing to do. This begins with discipline. Do what you say you plan, and do it daily. Plan it, then do it.
  4. Pledge to Success - You have a team. Maybe you work alone, but you have a team. Surround yourself with the best people and let them know of your plan to succeed. Be clear. Be sure. It's like the pledge of allegiance.
  5. Be accountable to someone who matters and who cares - Goals are S.M.A.R.T. The "A" is for accountability. Share your goals with someone who matters. Be accountable to them, to your family, to your team, and to yourself. Accountability is sometimes the only thing that makes a goal work.
Why measure? What's the point? Define your value, and then measure your value.
Commit to quality of life. Success is getting what you want and then wanting what you get. Be clear of the results for your enterprise. Also start out by defining the life that you want to have…and then proceed to make it happen.

Hugh Ballou

The Transformational Leadership Strategist

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(c) 2013 Hugh Ballou. All rights reserved.


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